silence

night of 14th to 15th of august.

5am

silence.

silence.

silence.

and a bitter taste in the mouth.

happy you

before you went to bed, you told me:
"it's very weird that i am not afraid of going to sleep"

this page is only for your eyes.

the statue of liberty

american doll?

untitled

de-construction games

the souther subburbs today
monday 14th of august 2006

the eternal return

despite the warnings from israel against the circulation beyond the litani river, thousands of cars overloaded with people and luggages took the road toward their villages' ruins today, starting 8 am.
the stubborness of the lebanese people will remain for ever a rejoicing mystery to me.

why?

real real news

181

14th of august

they are saying that today, at 8 am, the war ended.

and i said that when the war will end i'll stop drawing for a while. i'll rest.

and there is a girl with very beautiful eyes in the torino.

and there is a smell of life in beirut. only a smell.

very beautiful. more than what i can draw.

i don't know why i feel that i'll have to still draw for a long long time before i rest.

bombs blues

night of 13th to 14th of august

we are waiting.
WHAT?
and until when?

bagdad boom

today's free game

THE SUMMER CONTEST
answer the following question and win 3 (three) hand grenades.

THE QUESTION:
are the invaders the sons of david?
or the sons of goliath?

PLEASE
send your answers to mr ehud olmert or to the closest mc donald's

today's joke

20 bombs
in less than one minute
on the southern subburbs
while i am writing
that the war is over

cease-fire blues

THE WAR IS OVER
they are saying

how many
times
did
i hear
this sentence?

saturday late night show

torino black-out

darwin was right

the evolution praxis

today: a new emerging species

the light-man

melody 1701

dam on the phone

de prague

hit in the centre

night of 11 to 12 august 2006. 2 am

165

hit the target

a colorful poster for the streets of your city

dear all,
a lot of people are asking if they can print the poster with the war games (let's play).
please do. it is available in large format to download (click on it then enlarge it on flicker).
by the way, i repeat here for those who didn't look at all the archives:

you can use the drawings/music on my blog for any non-commercial printing (posters, flyers, emails, etc.) or airing (for the music) to help promoting the blog and thus to help the lebanese cause.
please do use the screen resolution for printing.
please do use them with NO editing/croping/mixing or anything else.
please do put my name AND the address of the blog next to it.

for those interested also, you can find ready to print and stick on your neighborhood walls A4 drawings on the link of my friend paul keller from amsterdam.

fernando's word

"who will ever save me from existing?"

"when he was writing this sentence, pessoa surely knew that it was precisely the fact of writing this sentence that was saving him."

"you bet on it."

my new friend

my new friend


and his friends.

YESTERDAY NIGHT you were sleeping at my place

5 am
bombs on the southern subburbs

"yeepee.
the party started.
i hope they won't wake you up."

6 am
3 very close bombs

"when i saw you face while you were running out of the room, i wanted to destroy the whole world."

super tv-man

it's been 31 days i am living in front, and with, and in a hitachi screen, model 1999, made in thailand.

XXX

night of 10 to 11 of august - 6 am

the jets don't sleep

the birds woke up

and i don't know what i should do.

no pain no gain

2 days with no electricity while i'm at home.
it comes only when i'm out of home.
anyways, i have no time to upload the new drawings. i am going to join the people participating in the live webcast initiated in amsterdam. please find the details below and try to connect to it.
i'll try to upload the drawings tonight or tomorrow.
keep posted and posting people asking them to post people etc.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>Mrabba Electroni[c]que: Global Lebanon Web Jam. Stop the war!>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


!!!!please note time change!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 12 2006, 15:00 - 19:00 PM CEST [--> 16:00 - 20:00 EEST]

http://beirut.streamtime.org
http://streamtime.org

Live audio/video streaming transmission from Waag Society in Amsterdam,
in direct connection with Beirut and surrounding localities. The event
was initiated by Streamtime, a web support campaign for Iraqi bloggers.

After one month of violence and carnage, this Global Web Jam brings
together live interviews and conversations, video clips, cartoons and
blog blurbs, soundscapes, DJs and VJs, a lively mix of information,
art, protest, party and reflection. We feature the voices, images
stories, reports and initiatives from Lebanon and beyond, with
participation of activists, artists, bloggers, journalists, musicians
and many others.

This is a call for an immediate end to the violence and destruction, in
defiance of war, and in search for solidarity.

With contributions and participation of: Wahid el-Solh, Mounira
el-Solh, Sonya Knox, Naeem Mohaiemen, Kanj Hamadi, Jim Quilty, Randa
Mirza, Mazen Kerbaj, Raed Yassin, Charbel Haber, Nathalie Fallaha,
Henri Gemayel, Fadi Tufayli, Tariq Shadid, Peter Speetjens, Chalaan
Charif, Martin Siepermann, Arjan El Fassed, Ruud Huurman, Kadir van
Lohuizen, Thomas Burkhalter and Anna Trechsel, Beirut DC, Tarek Atoui
and many others.

This Global Web Jam is an initiative of Jo van der Spek, Geert Lovink
and Cecile Landman (from Streamtime), Nat Muller, Paul Keller and Denis
Jaromil Rojo in Amsterdam; and Tarek Atoui and Rawya el-Chab in Beirut.

info: http://beirut.streamtime.org | mail: beirut@dischosting.nl

This project is supported by Waag Society, Novib (Dutch Oxfam) and X-Y
Solidarity Fund

let's play

danger

today
beirut
is threatened

the other planet

4 hands to save beirut

the sky

evan's airplane
and
daddy mazen's beirut

the fire

evan+mazen 10.08.06

beirut by evan + mazen

153

today i went to sleep at evan's in the mountain.

i brought him a moleskine notebook and we drawed for two hours.

enough

sculpture in an in-famous whiskey cardboard box.
9 august 2006.

russian doll

THE FUNERAL
IN
THE FUNERAL

today, 13 dead
during the funerals
of yesterday's deads

TV blues

day after day

we stay in front of the screen

ans we see our kids and our parents from the south and the subburbs of beirut

dying.

they are dying.

and we see.

ode to tyr

TYR
from a city
became an island

BURNING

blablabla

it's really hard to get used to being used to live in war.

a poor kitten

today, in nayla's garden, a 2 or 3 days old kitten.

"you are lucky not to know that you are born in lebanon."

mr fouad siniora

since the first day

i have
a knot

double trouble

my beirut

each night
from my bed
i hear beirut
being erased

i am soon a biker

RNFB 6

monday 7th of august

yesterday i slept early... at 2 am


and


today i woke up early... at 6 am with the melody of the israeli alarm clock

gloomy sunday

today, i wish to die.

night of 5 to 6 - always

night of 5 to 6 - still

night of 5 to 6 of august 2006 - 4am

we end the night at my place
with:
makram, marc, rasha, marylin, and guillaume and françois, 2 french guys who are in beirut to work with the humanitarian missions.

"it is always good to make foreigners discover the country..."

hhhhrugll

a real word of wisdom

question

no coffee this time

where to?

130

vultures never die

another blues

testament

it seems that this blog is censored in the united arab emirats. i received more than 10 emails assuring this. if this is true, it means that it is possible to do it on a larger scale.
two things should be done to address theses issues.

first, if every person who read this and know people in dubai or abu dabi can download ALL of the drawings and send them by emails there it would be great. you should also ask to the people to make them availbale for as much people as possible there.

second, regarding the possible shut down of this blog one day (the more it grows the more i am afraid of such a censorship), here's what should be done in my opinion: every person who have enough place on her hard disk should download and keep ALL the drawings and texts posted on the blog. this will be useful in two ways:
1- the blog can be recreated at different addresses in different countries to avoid the censorship. i will for sure recreate it also and continue it somewhere else. but i might not have the possibility to do so with the electricity problems that are becoming worst and worst.
2- the scans you find on the blog are the only other versions of the real drawings that are made on my notebooks. if this notebook or myself or both of us disappear some day. there'll still be a trace of it. even in low-res.

it is 2:40am in beirut and there is still eectricity.
the vultures are revolving above us.
i am going to try to sleep.
good night
more drawings, and words and bombs tomorrow.

127

beirut won't cry

war jackpot

nothing better to do

webtifada let it be

dear all,
this concept of webtifada (the word is not form me. i insist)seems to have some appeal.
as you might all know, my brain is not functioning to its full capacity these days. i have no idea of what to do. but despite my legendary skepticism, i feel we can do something with all these people around the world connected to the net. i do not know if petitions work. i usually do not sign them and believe in them. maybe there is a better idea. i do not know.
it is really YOU who have to make this webtifada works.
i'll continue posting about this issue to give place in the comments section for some ideas to come out. i want this site to be use as a catalyst because it is draging a lot of people. a lot of people that seems to begin to understand that lebanon is not a desert with people on camels worrying all day long where to find water to drink.
i'll continue doing my job. please try to start yours.
WE FUCKING RESIST.
as we can.

to an israeli interviewer

You have called me today to request an interview for an Israeli newspaper. Here is my answer.

you want to interview me about the music we are keeping going in beirut today.
in other times, i would have liked to be interviewed by an israeli newspaper to talk about my music and my drawings.
i would have probably said for a start that i never imagined the israeli people like green people with antennas.
i would have talked about the free jazz and the improvised and experimental music scene in lebanon.
i would have said that beirut is most probably the closest city in the world to tel aviv and that the musicians and artists of both cities have a lot in common. at least the weather, not to speak about the mediterranean way of life and the high concentration of intellectuals, artists, thinkers and free men in both cities.

today that i have the occasion to say whatever i want, i do not wish to do so.
today, instead of playing music with my friends musicians in Beirut and in the whole world, i am playing with the israeli air force. and this, i do not accept.
today, i sadly do not feel we have the same weather anymore. beirut is getting hotter every day. and this, i do not accept.
today, i am beginning to believe that there is not so much free men in israel. i tend to think more and more that the majority of the israelis are really green with antennas on their heads. and this, you shouldn't accept.
today, i do not wish to speak anymore.

thank you for listening to this “nothing” i ended up by saying.

music from beirut

here come the stars

makram's point of view

"fuck, makram scribbled on this page while i was bringing a beer"

august 2006
makram
thinks that you are all racicists

"the worst part is that he's right"

another word of wisdom

tonight's word is from nayla

all of us
and each one of us
is guilty

the question

93 boxes

these boxes couldn't move to their new home under the city of tyr today.
they are waiting for the rain to stop.

double-sight

in each
poet
two eyes
in each
eye

who are we?

transformer

my real side

HAMIDA

i spoke once of my mom who was 10 years old in the second world war.
today, in the newspaper, i met

HAMIDA MESSELMANI
"it's the first time i am a refugee"

hamida is from the village of ch'itiya in the south of lebanon, and she is now in the ch'aïb hospital in saida.
hamida is 122 years old. she is born in 1884.
she was thirty when first world war started.
i still have a lot... a lot lot...
god makes you stronger oh hamida. we we remain!

NEW * NEW * NEW

my own picasso

everybody tells me that my works reminds them picasso.

this drawing of laure ghorayeb is worth all the works of picasso as far as i am concerned.

111

i won't stop

a quick post to say two things:

1- even if there is a day where you don't see new posts, you should know that i am drawing every fucking day at least 3 to 4 drawings. just keep checking, they'll be here at some point.

2- i have now a program to check the daily visits. it is around 11000 per day. the real number of visitors is bigger if knowing that a lot of the "regulars" connect once or twice in a week. the real number must be around 15000 maybe.
there is 15000 persons seeing this blog! it's incredible no?
no.
IT IS NOT ENOUGH!
guys if each one of these 15000 can drag 10 more people asking them to drag 10 more, we'll be a fucking million and a half. and if this million can drag some more...
i am not totally naive and more likely a little bit sceptical, but it seems for me that a webtifada is possible. ghandi's concept but on the net. one fucking billion of people saying NO. it looks cheesy i know, but is there something else to do?
anyways, i thank you all (especially the israelis, germans, english and american people who have the balls to refuse what they are told they should do by their government).
i'd like to be able to thank personally, "live", each one of you. it'll take a lifetime, but i'll try. after.
after.

we have a recording session now (with charbel haber, raed yassin, sharif sehnaoui, bechir saadé and myself). a recording session with ALL the lebanese improv scene. pretty small i know.
we fucking resist. we fucking resist. we fucking resist.

i'll try to post the 12 drawings of yesterday this evening. at least some of them.
and sorry again for the emails and comments i am not answering. i am reading EVERYTHING but not finding time to answer.
and sorry not to have erased yet the fucking racist/xenophobe/ brainless comments on some of the drawings. i'll be back on them!

110

where are you oh my mother?

3rd hour in torino

finally makram and marc arrived
and as always, we're drinking and chatting.

"blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla fuck this war blablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla"

the big question

my brother walid (to my mother):

i don't understand how you did to raise us in 15 years of war.

still in torino

in the torino express cafe and people speaking

no

we refuse






but who is listening to us?

torino express

and we'll continue going to the torino express.
and we'll continue drinking coffee.
and we'll continue drawing.
and we'll continue...

a love story

the martyr's mother

technology is great

CUT

100

calendar

day after day...

12/13/14/15
16/17/18/19
20/21/22/23
24/25/26/27
28/29/30/31

... i am using more and more the expression "day after day"...

numbers

AND NOW LET'S PLAY WITH THE NUMBERS

50 israelis killed (from which 19 civilians)

more than 750 lebanese civilians killed

RESULT: the price of lebanese civilian blood is equivalent to 2,5% of the price of israeli civilian blood

ok, ok, i'll write then.

after the electricity cut of this afternoon, i went to my mother to eat.
i stayed with evan for a couple of hours (it is his first time in beirut for 20 days. he came yesterday and slept at my mother's then went back to his mother's in the mountain today). we played karate (as usual) and drawn a clown. my mom told me that he told her yesterday night:"mmm i recognize the smell of the bed i used to sleep in when i was young." the last time he slept there it was a month ago. he cannot understand nostalgia but he can feel it. incredible.
anyways, i went afterwards to the torino express to drink a double expresso and do a drwaing or two. i stayed there four hours (coffee+8 beers+2 shots of tequila). i did 4 new drawings (i must have 10 to 15 to upload).
then i went to rasha's and drank a bunch of beers with her brother and mother and her.
than i arrived home at 12. no electricity.
0:21 says now my battery level.
and tomorrow i have a lot of stuff to do until late afternoon.
no images upload! no answers to emails! no nothing!
thomas edison, do you vote bush?
0:14
ok.
good night.

daylight black

fucking no electricity again.
it is 2 PM. i uploaded one single drawing.
thomas edison please help me.

pieta

fast and furious

like in the good old days, after 12, no more electricity. not even the neighborhood generators. we have to be careful with the fuel. it is running out slowly but surely from the country, and running in quickly and surely on the lebanese and mediterranean coasts.

i have 0:31 on the battery level on my old laptop. no 0:30 in fact. just enough time to write this post, but no time to upload today's drawings (and some of yesterday's). neither my mom's drawing on her site (for three days! what kind of ungreatful bastard am i?)

it is quite funny to write on a laptop connected to the world with a candle next to the keyboard to see the letters.

0:24
what to say? i am somehow limiting myself more and more to only drawings. i am freaking out from emails to answer. and still those comments coming on the drawings. again and again. trying to tell me that the THIRTY SEVEN kids of qana were killed with their mothers by the hezbollah. again and again i have to point out that:

THIS IS BY NO MEAN A POLITICAL BLOG. can't you fucking see there is almost just fucking drawings on it?
would you think of going to picasso and saying that yeah, guernica was awful, but it was because of the republicans and not franco and the nazis air force?

fuck, it's 0:22. i lost 2minutes for this stupid sentence.

0:21
i loose too much time answering everything (for all the people who are sending emails these days, please do not get upset if i am not answering, it is going worst and worst with the days).
i still let myself go into interviews. sometimes they are tough and you have to argue for ten minutes on the phone with the guy to be able to convince him that everything you want to do for the moment is to eat the dish that is getting cold in front of you.
however i was heroic and refused an interview with the cnn.
and one with the iranian tv.
to equilibrate.

0:16 (there's a red light now)
is there enough time to say that i am happy to see we are becoming all of us the same nation? it is really cool. we have one president, the respected mr. george bush. and a governer in each country. it seems that tony blair, angela merkel, and all the other european presidents have the same post than arnold schwarzenegger these days.

0:10
actually there is still a lot of time to say a lot of things. everybody should wake up. now. we are all in these deep shit.

you are running on low battery mode

fuck

publish post

quickly

qana / beirut

2000 years ago, in qana, jesus transformed water into wine.

today, in qana, the israeli air force transformed kids into ashes.

today, in beirut, i am not able to transform this page into a drawing.

canned food - no expiry date

qana

day 19

after 19
days
i started
to cry

my life?

and my life tomorrow?
and after tomorrow?
and after after tomorrow?
and after after after tomorrow?
and etc?
and after etc?
and after?

black. always.

the black mediterranean sea

15.000 tons of oil on the lebanese shores.

the biggest ecological disaster in the mediterranean sea

a new world record for lebanon

hurray

touristic advertising

boxes

LIFE
of the city of tyr today:

40 wooden numbered boxes to move home from the city of tyr to under the city of tyr.
40.

and my life today

AND MY LIFE TODAY

walid
evan
racha
antoine
laure
makram
raed
lynn
tala
and me
and a kite

a normal day

MY LIFE TODAY

phone (a lot)

music

table tennis

moujaddara and cabbage salad
at my parents

drawing (not much)

cigarettes and beers

television

LIKE EVERY DAY

The world is sleeping

a nice chat

re-charging needed soon

thursday 27 of july 2006

"i am still functional"

until when?

petition

dreams

"i am sorry to decline your proposition"

stop!
that's it!
i can't anymore!
nein!
please do not contact me for any interview anymore.
i am beginning to freak out repeating 5 times a day the same things. if your interested in what i am doing, please write yourself a story about it (it's easy, you'll see).
anyways, everything i am asked is already on the blog. or worst, on tv.
i should by the way keep record of these interviews, some are incredible. i was asked twice so far: "don't you think that your piece of music and bombs is of a bad taste?
i answered twice: "do you think that it is of a good taste to throw a bomb on a bus with civilians escaping their village?"
it is incredible that some people, listening to this piece in their living room in london or in paris, ask themselves if they like it or not. i think that some people should never stop seeing cnn and fox news. it is made for them. it is "good taste" news.

also, for the new comers on this blog, i repeat my now famous sentence (a sort of personal "to be or not to be" kind of stuff):
PLEASE DO NOT POST ANY POLITICAL COMMENT ON THIS BLOG.
THIS IS BLOG DEDICATED TO ART.
AND AS SUCH, IT VOMITS ON ANYTHING CALLED POLITICS.
thank you to follow this simple rule (it's easy, you'll see), knowing that i have no scruple to erase whatever doesn't please me. yeah, it sounds rude, but you're not in the "real" disneyland here.

finally, a kind message to all the people posting comments on this blog:
thank you for your support and for spreading the message. keep doing so please. with a little bit of luck it will end up on condoleeza rice's desktop. i know it won't stop the war, but i am sure at least that she'll ask me to do her portrait.
i am sorry not answering the comments (and a big part of the emails) i am receiving. it's being tougher and tougher to keep all this going on. on the mental level it's staying cool, but on the physical one i look more and more like nosferatu.
i should get some rest.
when all this shit is over.
(hahahaha).

it's 3 am. i'll try not to stay late tonight.

antoine

the voice of wisdom

"i do not understand, the united nations, they are united with whom and against whom?"

my father today.

birds of prey

"night of 26 to 27 july.
the israeli aviation is flying over beirut."

"and i am going to sleep."

music always

26 july 2006 - rome's conference

rome's conference resolves the problem

after an emergency meeting of 18 nations to find a solution to the crisis, kofi annan and condoleeza rice declare:

"the situation in lebanon is critic. we have to open humanitarian roads"

and the reader translates:
israel has the right to continue it's war on lebanon but they have to ensure that the besieged will receive the elementary needs before bombing them.

black

how can i show what i feel?

how can i know what i feel?

change

i am beginning to change...

yesterday night

25 july 2006

yesterday's night was a night of happiness and worries.

diane called me at 4 am. the french embassy called her to say that "her" boat is leaving at 10 am.

she refused to go. she's staying in the mountain with evan. hurray diane.

i am relieved. finally. i am worried but relieved.

freedom flag

i am beginning to get tired

faulse alert

ok, ok. i should calm down. i know.
i can see the blog again sometimes and sometimes not. must be a connection problem. but it is the second internet problem i have in a week. last week i stayed for 12 hours not receiving emails! not even on the webmail. a friend said that it is because my mailbox and sites are totally overloaded.
i am really becoming too paranoiac. it's crazy.

am i dead?

i am becoming very paranoiac. maybe it is a side effect of the war.
i can not access kerblog anymore. there is only a blank page.
i received two emails so far reporting the same problem.
am i being stopped?
if this problem remains, it would mean that my blog has been stopped by "somebody".
could "somebody" be afraid of what i am doing? it would be great!
anyways, if you can read this post it means i still can post. so i'll continue it "blind".

we did it

we did it

and:
boom

"what should we do"

"we continue!"

and we'll continue continuing.

can euronews be funny?

real news from beirut / fourth issue

23 july 2006 - BLUE

of paris i said that it doesn't have a sky but rather a neutral grey stain.

and of the new yorkers that they cannot see the sky because of the heighth of their ambition.

and of london's sky that it is manufactured from flying cotton.


where are you blue sky of beirut?

black

w
e
---
a
r
e
--
t
o
m
o
r
r
o
w'
s
---
d
e
a
d
---
.
.
.

different wars

5.19 am

ok, i think it calmed down for tonight.
i'll try to sleep a bit. my blog and laure's one are going smooth. i'll have two blogs to update daily. i want also to create a third one (a second kerblog), but i'll talk about it when it's ready.
keep posted people, we need you more than ever. keep forwarding this blog and others to as much people as you can and don't forget to ask them to send it to as much people as they can, asking them to send it...

war flipper

terrorism is a funny word

lebanon is being sold for the price of a word:


TERRORISM


------------------------
what a bad joke!!!

coffee and brain 3

coffee and brain 2

coffee and brain

coffins on tv

raed yassin is nabil fawzi and bechir remains bechir

i finished finally setting up two new blogs tonight, my mother's one (see last post) and fellow musician/actor/dance raed yassin who is starting a blog to document the war via words + old comics pages and polaroids. here's his address: www.raedyassin.blogspot.com

more and more resistants!

another fellow musician from beirut, bechir saadeh, is pursuing his blog started a while ago with more political content. check at: www.remarkze.blogspot.com/

no drawings tonight. didn;t have time and it's already 5am.
the birds are waking up and everything is strangely calm. this awful calm i always try to describe. the one that you know won't last. and you ask yourself indefinitely: what and when is next?

LAURE GHORAYEB JOINED THE RESISTANCE

As of today, laure ghorayeb began the resistance on www.laureghorayeb.blogspot.com

And who is laure ghorayeb might ask most of my international readers (and a lot of the lebanese one I presume)?


LAURE GHORAYEB attempt for an objective biography

laure ghorayeb is a lebanese visual artist/poet born in 1931. after publishing 2 books of poems, she slowly stop writing to consecrate herself tothe unique style of painting she developed over the years. this style, melting words, drawings and signs together could arguably be described as abstract/poetic comics (it is at least my opinion).

she did many solo exhibits and hundred of collective ones. she is holder of an award of distinction from the paris biennale (1967) and won the first award of the alexandria biennal in the category of drawing (1997). she also participated in the international forum of art "europ’art 2003" in geneva.

during the 15 years of the civil war, laure ghorayeb never stopped drawing. a selection of these drawings, directly connected to the war, were published in a limited edition book titled “témoignage” (testimony) in 1985.
it seems sadly that art cannot fight war. here she is today starting a new series of her marvelously depressing war drawings in a blog titled “witnessing (again)”.
laure ghorayeb is also an art critic for the lebanese newspaper an nahar.


LAURE GHORAYEB a subjective biography

laure ghorayeb is my mom and she’s the greatest.

59

58

bombs
pass
and we
bark

57

21 july 2006

i am at home in sin el fil

thinking of evan

prisonner in a house

playing playstation all day long

alon

and asking everyday: why can't i go see
farid / yasmina / simon / etc.

what can i answer?

to all the lebanese bloggers

i am receiving a lot of links but i am not finding any time to go check all the blogs. i am really sorry, but you know the time it takes to keep a blog going.
i am creating this post for you to add all your links on it in the comments section. maybe you can add a quick description if you like. i know it is not much but it is the only way for me to spread the word about all the lebanese blogs going around thes days.
i hope you'll see this post and send all the other lebanese bloggers.

keep it going. and encourage everybody you know to start a blog. your mom, dad, friends, family. everybody. we are writing our future's collective memory.

fuck interviews

i did today another interview with a swedish radio about my music in general and about the "starry night" piece. it was good to talk about music for a while.

i am receiving a lot of propositions for other interviews.
i hate to do that. especially in theses times.
i feel that the attention my work is given is somehow unjustified. in normal times, i would have sent my blog address to my mailing list (around 400 people), and would have got some 1000 people visiting after 2 or 3 years. today, it went pretty fast out of control. in 4 days there was already more than 1000 readers. god knows how much there is now. i hope a lot. and i hope that others are coming.
the thing is that today i feel a sort of responsibility, and it is like i have to make my voice heard to continue the job i am already doing on the blog. i am doing it and will still do it. but it put me in the position of a sort of hero defending the lebanese citizens with my art, while the sad reality is that i can do nothing to even protect myself. people are dying under the bombs and i am giving interviews!!!
anyways, i'll continue drawing, fraking out, playing music and blogging (i hate this word) until i find something more intelligent/helpful to do.

56

20 july 2006

in the bad times, like in the good times, raed and i are chatting in a café

"art / music / war / trumpet / beer / recording / massacre / double-bass / dance / exodus / sound / destruction / laughs / drawing / death / blood / tyr / coffee"

i's weird, there is words we are not used to use.

etc. etc.

55

54

53

52

51

50

evan is 5 years old and didn't live any war.

"we play karate?"

49'

my mom was 10 years old during world war II.
and 45 in the 1975 civil war.

today, she's 75.

"do you think i'll catch up one more war?"

49

i slept at 6

i woke up at 10

they bombed 400 meters from my parent's place in ashrafieh

i am not going.

and each time we'll sleep
we'll wake up.

48

47

my life in a bag

each time i leave my flat, i take with me:

my passport and evan's one
a mini-disc recorder + microphone
2 t-shirts
2 underwear
2 pairs of socks
a notebook and pens
my trumpet
binoculars
a book
tobacco
a small camera
a lighter
a usb key
a toothbrush
4 batteries

45

and
life
goes
on

TO BUY (quickly)

water / coffee / batteries / chocolate / ink / candles (a big stock) / canned food / bread / picon cheese / toilet paper / radio powered by batteries / matches / black felt pens / rolling paper / milk (still consumable)

Aaah this good old technology

it works!
i'll finally upload the last 2 days drawings this afternoon. there is around 10 of them.
for the moment, i'm going to a demonstration in the downtown to ask for an immediate stop of the massacre. i hope we'll be a lot of people, but i do not count on this.
keep your eyes/ears open.

TEST

i am trying to post the drawings on flicker rather than on the blog. this is a test. hope it will work.
by the way thanks to everybody for the emails and comments giving some real help on this image upload issue.

other websites

here's an updatable list of links you can download the piece "starry night" from:

http://www.thewire.co.uk/web/mp3specials.php
http://www.l-m-c.org.uk/audio/mazen.html
http://www.dasmollschegesetz.de/beirut.htm
http://www.muniak.com/mazenkerbaj.html
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/mazen_kerbaj-starry_night.mp3
http://www.nonstuff.com/mazen_kerbaj-starry_night.mp3

+ all the people who posted comments with a link to download the piece.

open your eyes, here comes the sound

still cannot post the drawings, but there is good news concerning the first track i could send by email (two hours and a half to upload). it is fianlly downloadable on the site of my friend musician michael muniak from baltimore, usa.

here's the link: http://www.muniak.com/mazenkerbaj.html

it will be posted on other websites during the night and tomorrow. i'll post the links tomorrow.

it is 3 am and it is stangely calm tonight. i'll try to get some real sleep.

ps: if somebody know what might be the problem with this image upload shit, please let me know.

drawings waiting for the evacuation

i do not understand why i cannot load any image anymore.
there is more than 10 drawings feeling blocked on my dsktop.
i'll try again later.
is any body aware of how much space we have on blogger?

i am working on getting the 6.30 minutes track out of the country via the dial-up connection. i hope it'll work. it may take one hour or two to upload 10mb. i'll post a note on where you can download it from whenever it's there.

sounds from beirut looking for a room

i finally found out a way to download on my computer 7 minutes from the 40 minutes track i recorded from the first night. it is very rough and unmixed and badly recorded. and the problem of not being able to hear the huge silences over the 40 minutes is awful. i think it is the most important part. this fucking silence.
anyways, i have a 6.30min mp3 now and i am looking for a website to post it on. i need a website that can support a large bandwith to be able to make it downloadble easily. if anybody has an idea, please tell me.
ideally i'd post it on more than one site maybe.
also music related sites (not sony or universal) are for sure better.

message to the people of israel who are reading this blog

for the israeli people who commented on the drawing "we resist" below,

did you notice that i am drawing on the light of a candle under the bomb in the drawing that shocked you?
did you try to analyse this (highly complex) metaphore of resisiting the bombs with the pen?
did you notice by the way that almost all the posts of this blog are drawing?
do you think it is funny to draw under the bombs? do you suspect me to like it?
after knowing me for 7 days, do you really think that i have nothing better to do than "resisting"?
i have to admit that i have a long beard (frightening, isn't it?), but do you imagine me with an explosive belt?

do you have a sense of humour?

did you think for a second that i might be "resisting" to talk about politics since i began this blog?
do you think it is the right moment to find out who's fault it is?
do you know the smell of a burning kid?

do you have decency?

please do not reply to this email and post more comments.
IT IS NOT A POLITICAL BLOG.
if you insist to try to explain to me the reasons of what's happening (did you hear of 1948 by the way?), i am sorry but i'll have to block your comments.
if you're not happy, write a complaint to the UN.


for the israeli musicians, painters, writers, thinkers, intellectuals and for all the israeli in israel and around the world who sent us supportive emails and comments,

we know you are here.
we know you are hearing us.
we know you are hearing the bombs getting down on civilians and kids.
kids from lebanon.
kids from israel.
kids from al over the world.

we know that like us, you feel ashamed.

we know you are not a lot.

but we shall meet one day.
when our people will wake up.
in 10.000 years.

please continue sending us your emails and comments, here and wherever you can. we need to know you are here. and that you are more than what we expected.
WE NEED YOU TO RESIST.

images delayed

i finally got a connection and was ready to upload a bunch of drawings. 2 things are retaining me for the moment.

first, the blog is taking too much time to publish. it must be because i am posting a lot of drawings. do anyone knows if i can find another blog hosting site where i can publish a lot of drawings? i might need it soon, because it seems i won't stop drawing soon, unless i cannot find paper anymore.

second, i checked the last comments posted on the blog (especially those on the "we resist" drawing), and i think i should begin by answering them. i will do it here rather than in the comments section, since i am not answering much more important comments from friends and supporters from all over the world.

supermarket blues


yesterday i went to buy some stuff for the house.


all the shelves are empty.




in the fridge there is three bottles of milk.
"exp 13/07/06?"

copyright issues

a lot of people are asking me if they can post this or that drawing on their blog, or to publish it, etc.

to all the blog readers and beyond,

PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE IS NO COPYRIGHT ON ANY OF THE DRAWINGS OF THIS BLOG. PLEASE DO PUBLISH, PHOTOCOPY, PRINT, DISTRIBUTE EVERYWHERE ALL THE DRAWINGS IF YOU CAN.

when the war is over, my lawyer will call you. until then please spread them anywhere you can.


Dear reader,
The war is "over".
The text above is no longer valid.
The copyright for all the drawings of this blog are the property of their author.
Please DO ASK for permission before posting or publishing any of the drawings of this blog.

still alive and well and living in beirut

one bad trick with this blog is that i receive tons of messages when i do not update it for a while. people must think i died or something. nothing like that can happen.

we're still.
we're still here.
we're still alive.
we're still waiting.
we still have nerves.
we we will never loose them.
we'll remain while the bombs will vanish.
we'll survive this shit like we survived others.

there is not much updates since yesterday because i went to see some friends and family. everybody is ok.
i didn't draw that much.
2 drawings that i made yesterday were not cool at all. i mean they were ugly.
having these kind f considerations for such trivial shit while people are killed drives me crazy. i tried to talk to this with a friend from germany in an email 2 days ago:

"anyways, music and drawing are the only things keeping me going these days.
i recorded two hours of bombs + trumpet from my balcony yesterday night.
some bombs were really close (what kind of mouthpiece do the israeli pilots use to have this sound?). the tension you get in your playing is incredible. also, i draw all time.
i always said that i regret not being adult during the war to see if you can
do something in these situations. now i feel bad to draw or play music while
people are burning. i convince myself by saying it is my only way to resist. that i have to witness. that it is very important.
but i am not really convinced. i try to be a fucking witness. to show a
little bit what's happening here. in my own way. but having regards for what
is a good drawing or a good music track drives me crazy. i cannot stop
saying after a bomb: "yeah, this one was huge. i'll leave a long silence
then make a small sound to balance the track." this is totally crazy!"

fuck art
fuck the world
fuck everything

i received an email from a lady asking me to remove her from my mailing list because she is "not used to like and hear violent language."
she also said: "i hope that your comprehension is as rapid as the speed which you use to vociferate your insults."
i removed her, but asked before if she has a better way of dealing with the situation than vociferating insults. she answered (in bold): diplomatie.
i am sure this lady has a high education degree at least. maybe a doctorate or something.

what else to say. i had a lot of thing i wanted to talk of before leaving to see evan in the mountains. i do not remember. so much things. massacres maybe?

anyways, please keep posted. i'll try to post some drawings tonight. please keep posted. it is very important. post other people. find other lebenes blogs. a lot are old and great and a lot, like mine, are flourishing everywhere (israel: thanks again for creating this "scene"). i do not have time to check other blogs and post their links. please find them.

we know you are with us. we know you are seeing us. we know you hear the fucking bombs we are hearing. we know you worry for us.
but don't.
because you know we are tough guys. you know that we'll support this shit. you know that we survived massacre and we'll do it again today. you know we'll see each other soon.
keep in touch and stay with us.

ricardo arias live in madrid

for all ricardo friends, please know that he just called me from madrid where he arrived an hour ago. he will arrive to new york most probably tomorrow.

i didn't speak on the blog about ricardo being stuck in the country after coming to play 3 concerts and give a workshop.
i didn't want to worry him.
below is a passage from an email i sent to a friend asking me about ricardo when he was still here:

"all my worries go daily to ricardo arias who is stuck in beirut. i try to
joke with him to keep him going, but i can see he's freaking out. which is
normal. but i tend to forget. because we are really used to support this
shit. it is incredible to realize that after 15 years, we are still fucking
used to live in this shit. anyways, ricardo is going to be evacuated soon
with all the american citizens in beirut. i hope everything goes well for
him. at least on the mental level. i am pretty sure that the american
citizens risk nothing while leaving beirut. if there is one thing i have to admit the american government knows how to deal with, it's evacuations.
but this war is a kind of nerves game. and it is pretty tough to support it, especially if you have
nothing to do with it and you have a wife and a kid seeing the news from new
york.
anyways, as i tell him everyday, he'll have things to tell for the upcoming
ten years. also, from all the musicians who came to beirut and asked about
how it was to live during the war, ricardo is the luckiest guy! he really
got the picture i think."

ricardo i am really glad you made it! i hope you arrive quickly to new york.
we're missing you already and big hellos from christine, sharif, rasha and all the others.

learn to read in one lesson

dear readers from abroad,
please read the images in the pages in arabic from right to left!

"israel has the right to defend itself"


bombs

destruction


massacre

hunger


exodus

fire

FUCK



THE



WORLD

message in a bottle

dear friends and family from lebanon and abroad,

i am receiving tons of supportive emails everyday. thank you all. we really need your eyes and ears.
i am trying as much as possible to answer everybody.
however, some questions are common to all, and i think it is relevant to answer to the most asked one here.

to the question: "how can we help?"

the answer is: speak.

speak about the shit happening here. speak with your family. with your friends. with people you don't know. in a bar, a restaurant, at work. with the people in the streets. talk to everybody. talk to buildings.
from here, it seems for us that no one in the whole world cares for those fucking burned children corpses.

ps: our swiss friend, musician markus eichenberger ordered a lebanese flag and is going to put it on his balcony. he asked all his friends to do so. i don't know where the fuck they find lebanese flags in zurich but it seems like a cool thing to do. after the mondial, all europe exchange their flags for the -ugly- lebanese one.

night of 16 to 17 july

completely
drunk

must
go
to
sleep

night of 16 to 17 of july

i am working on the candle light

"edison, where are you?"

DILEMMA

diane has registered us on the list of french citizens who whish to leave the country.

the problem is that i don't feel like leaving at all.

but in the same time, it is maybe better for evan.

i have to decide.

quickly.

fuck.

how
difficult
is the separation
from


b
e
i
r
u
t

george bush: "israel has the right to defend itself"


ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha

silence
here
is more frightening
than the most
frightening bomb

"from here, we can only hear the planes"


VVVVVSSSHSHSHSHSSSS


and
the
rest
we
picture
it

KARATÉ
"hayaaaaa" / "yaaaa"

CHOCOLATE CAKE
"miam" / "how do you do to open your mouth so wide?"

TV
"look what bob is doing" / "hahaha, what an idiot"

SLEEP
"zzzz"

INSOMNIA
"..."

night of 16 to 17 july in the mountain

"it's 2 am
there's no electricity
there is no internet
there is no news
and we cannot hear the bombs falling on beirut
and we're cut from everything?
and i don't feel like filling this page's background in black"

fortunately there is whiskey!

evan is drawing:
(and i am watching)









and evan is writing:
(and i try to understand)

i am watching
spongebob squarepants
with evan

3.50 pm
i left beirut to go see evan and diane in the mountain.


from
sin el fil
to
dahr el souan

"no one on the roads"


4.04 pm
i arrived
new world record

beirut
16 july 06
2.10 am








"how can i show sound in a drawing?"

it's enough

16th of july - 11 am
first 24 hours under the bombs




"i don't know how i slept for 2 hours."

when i was young, i used to see my parents drink whiskey.
all night long.
i thought that whiskey is like coffee. for adults.
and that it was normal that adults drink every day.

"today, i am not young anymore."

boom
boom
boom
boom
boom
boom

a good night sleep and you're a new man

3:15 am
it seems that tonight the bombing won't stop.
every 15 minutes, a new attack. one or two bombs only each time. just enough to keep you up the whole night. these guys are real artists.
a fucking huge bomb just arrived while i am writing. how to describe this fucking feeling with words?
so yeah, the israeli pilots are real artists. they know how to keep their audience attentive. they never give you time to fall asleep; each time you feel the action is slow, they bring in some new emotional material to get you in again. i suspect that they calculate exactly how long it takes to a normal human being to fall asleep, and act upon. well done guys, it's working.

"fortunately there is this window!!!"

where to?


closer

then
closer

then closer

night of 15th to 16th
recording session


mazen kerbaj / trumpet

vs

the israeli goverment / bombs

night of 15th to 16th of july

tv
"news"

whiskey
on the rocks

a poker game

outside:
rock & roll

the results