still alive and well and living in beirut

one bad trick with this blog is that i receive tons of messages when i do not update it for a while. people must think i died or something. nothing like that can happen.

we're still.
we're still here.
we're still alive.
we're still waiting.
we still have nerves.
we we will never loose them.
we'll remain while the bombs will vanish.
we'll survive this shit like we survived others.

there is not much updates since yesterday because i went to see some friends and family. everybody is ok.
i didn't draw that much.
2 drawings that i made yesterday were not cool at all. i mean they were ugly.
having these kind f considerations for such trivial shit while people are killed drives me crazy. i tried to talk to this with a friend from germany in an email 2 days ago:

"anyways, music and drawing are the only things keeping me going these days.
i recorded two hours of bombs + trumpet from my balcony yesterday night.
some bombs were really close (what kind of mouthpiece do the israeli pilots use to have this sound?). the tension you get in your playing is incredible. also, i draw all time.
i always said that i regret not being adult during the war to see if you can
do something in these situations. now i feel bad to draw or play music while
people are burning. i convince myself by saying it is my only way to resist. that i have to witness. that it is very important.
but i am not really convinced. i try to be a fucking witness. to show a
little bit what's happening here. in my own way. but having regards for what
is a good drawing or a good music track drives me crazy. i cannot stop
saying after a bomb: "yeah, this one was huge. i'll leave a long silence
then make a small sound to balance the track." this is totally crazy!"

fuck art
fuck the world
fuck everything

i received an email from a lady asking me to remove her from my mailing list because she is "not used to like and hear violent language."
she also said: "i hope that your comprehension is as rapid as the speed which you use to vociferate your insults."
i removed her, but asked before if she has a better way of dealing with the situation than vociferating insults. she answered (in bold): diplomatie.
i am sure this lady has a high education degree at least. maybe a doctorate or something.

what else to say. i had a lot of thing i wanted to talk of before leaving to see evan in the mountains. i do not remember. so much things. massacres maybe?

anyways, please keep posted. i'll try to post some drawings tonight. please keep posted. it is very important. post other people. find other lebenes blogs. a lot are old and great and a lot, like mine, are flourishing everywhere (israel: thanks again for creating this "scene"). i do not have time to check other blogs and post their links. please find them.

we know you are with us. we know you are seeing us. we know you hear the fucking bombs we are hearing. we know you worry for us.
but don't.
because you know we are tough guys. you know that we'll support this shit. you know that we survived massacre and we'll do it again today. you know we'll see each other soon.
keep in touch and stay with us.